“Why didn’t I get that role?”
“How does HR actually decide who’s ready?”
“What am I missing?”
These are questions I’ve heard time and again in coaching sessions, exit interviews, and corridor chats. And the truth is, most people never get a satisfying answer.
After years in HR, I can tell you: performance matters, of course. But promotions and career moves are rarely decided on performance alone.
Career transitions — promotions, secondments, sideways moves — hinge on more than just your results. Behind the scenes, HR and senior leaders weigh up a much murkier blend of emotional readiness, timing, perception, and trust.
What HR Really Looks For (but rarely says out loud):
Emotional reliability under pressure
Do you stay composed when things go sideways? Have you demonstrated calm thinking during hard conversations or high-stakes projects?Narrative clarity
Have you made your ambitions visible, and do they make sense in context? People need a story to get behind.Trust signals
Do your peers and leaders feel you bring people with you, not just manage tasks? Are you easy to back when things get messy?
I’ve seen talented people passed over not because they weren’t capable, but because decision-makers weren’t convinced they’d scale well emotionally. That’s the stuff no one puts on a scorecard — but it shapes who gets stretched, who gets sponsored, and who gets sidelined.
Real Talk from the HR Room
Let me give you a real (anonymised) example:
Two managers applied for the same stretch role. Both had strong results. But one had recently stepped in to support their team during a chaotic restructure — calmly, visibly, and without blame.
The other had quietly delivered great work but kept a low profile.
Guess who got the offer?
HR looks for moments that reveal how you show up under pressure — not just what you deliver when things are smooth.
Ask Yourself:
Do people know what I want next — and why?
Have I shown I can manage emotional risk, not just technical tasks?
Would my manager or peers describe me as “calm under fire” or “trusted with tough stuff”?
Final Thought
Career growth isn’t a clean-cut ladder. It’s more like a reputation game wrapped in emotion, timing, and trust.
The good news? You can shape how you’re seen. You can build the narrative. You can show up in ways that quietly say: I’m ready for more and I’ve got the emotional range to handle it.
That’s what HR is looking for. Even when they don’t say it.