Stop Performing. Start Leading.

Hi there,

Most plans don’t fall apart because they’re unrealistic.
They fall apart because the person trying to carry them out is exhausted, unsure, or still performing a version of themselves that no longer fits.

This week, I’m sharing some thoughts on how to spot those old patterns that might be holding you back and how to find a more grounded path forward.

This Week

• The Roles We Play

• This Isn’t About “Fixing” Yourself

• Try This: A 5-Minute Self-Coaching Check-In

• Resource: Free Self Coaching Guide

• Book of the Month - Reset by Dan Heath

Before We Talk About Goals, Let’s Talk About Who’s in Charge

Before we start setting goals or getting stuck into plans, I think it’s worth asking: who’s really in charge here?

Is it the part of you that’s grounded and clear about what matters?

Or is it the part of you that’s still trying to prove something, fix something, or earn your worth by keeping busy?

Because if we’re honest, most of us are led more by our fears and old patterns than by what’s actually true and useful.

The Roles We Play

We all carry invisible scripts.
Be useful. Stay agreeable. Don’t slow down.
Work hard and they’ll notice. Don’t speak until you’re sure.
Say yes. Stay grateful. Keep earning your place.

These unspoken rules shape our habits, and over time, those habits can harden into a personality. One day, you’re left wondering why you feel off-centre despite looking successful from the outside.

This is where most development work breaks down:
It tries to layer on new skills and habits without ever pausing to ask:

• What am I still carrying that I no longer need?

• What’s leading me, even when I’m not aware of it?

This Isn’t About “Fixing” Yourself

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a call to hustle, optimise, or become a perfect version of yourself.

I’ve been a leadership coach for over 15 years, and I’ve never been interested in personal development that turns people into productivity machines.

I’m interested in the messier, more meaningful work of learning to lead yourself with clarity the kind that comes from self-honesty, not self-judgement.

It means noticing the stories that drive you.
It means naming the roles you’ve outgrown.
It means catching yourself mid-pattern and asking: is this still true for me?

Sometimes it is. Often, it isn’t.

Try This: A 5-Minute Self-Coaching Check-In

At the beginning of the week before the Monday madness begins take five quiet minutes and ask:

1. What’s one moment from the last week where I felt off-centre or triggered?

2. What part of me was being challenged or exposed?

3. What “rule” or old habit am I still following that might not serve me anymore?

4. What version of me still thinks I have to earn the right to rest, say no, or be taken seriously?

No need to fix anything. Just notice what’s there.
Because the moment you see the pattern, you create space for a new one.

Free Self-Coaching Guide

Want something more structured? I’ve put together a free self-coaching reflection tool plus a set of ChatGPT prompts if you like exploring your patterns through writing. Think of it like having a thoughtful coach in your pocket.

The best way to view this resource is dynamically through your device, you can then download it onto your phone and keep it forever:

If, however, you prefer to download as a PDF you’re more than welcome.

You can tweak the prompts for journaling or use them as warm-up questions before your next big decision or conversation.

Book of the Month - Reset by Dan Heath

If you want to dig into these themes even more, this month I’ve been reading Reset by Dan Heath.

Why this book?
We all hit moments when things just aren’t working at work, in our routines, or with ourselves. Reset isn’t about big dramatic reinvention. It’s about recognising where you’re stuck and making small, meaningful changes that stick.

Who it’s for:
Anyone feeling off track or overwhelmed especially if you’re the kind of person who supports everyone else but forgets to check in with yourself.

What’s Next

Later this month, I’ll share a reflection to help you reconnect with the habits that are already working for you the ones that quietly keep you steady, focused, or calm.
Not a reset. Not a reinvention. Just a clear way to notice what’s helping… and build on it with more intention.

You don’t need another framework.
You need a clearer view of what’s shaping you from the inside out.

That’s where the real work begins.

P.S. If this sparked something for you — or made you pause — feel free to forward it to someone else doing this kind of work too. And if you try the self-coaching check-in, I’d genuinely love to hear what comes up. Just hit reply.

Oh, and one last thing: we’re evolving! From September Read2Rise will be reimagined as the human co., a space for deeper conversations, new tools, and fresh ways to grow together. Curious? You can read more about what’s ahead here and sign up for early access treats.