Coaching Books to Live By

Coaching has been at the heart of my work for as long as I can remember. Years ago, I spent my days supporting young adults into their first jobs many of them lacking confidence, clarity, or anyone who had ever really listened to them. What I saw then, and still see now, is that coaching isn’t just a leadership skill. It’s a human one. It gives people space to think, speak, and grow often in ways they didn’t think were possible.

I’ve seen coaching change lives. I’ve watched it help someone find their voice in a room they felt they didn’t belong in. I’ve seen it unlock potential in colleagues who had been written off. And I’ve seen it give new leaders the confidence to stop performing and start leading.

These two books Coaching for Performance by John Whitmore and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier have shaped not just how I coach, but how I lead, communicate, and show up. They’ve helped me become a better manager, mentor, and colleague. And they’ve helped my clients do the same.

What follows are short reflections on why these books matter, how I’ve used them in my work, and what they’ve taught me. If you’re a leader, a coach, or just someone who wants to help others thrive I hope they’ll inspire you too.

Coaching for Performance | Sir John Whitmore

Why it’s worth reading
This is the book that put coaching on the map. First published in the 1990s, Coaching for Performance introduced the GROW model a simple but powerful framework for unlocking potential. Whitmore blends sports psychology, business acumen, and a humanistic approach that still feels fresh. It’s not flashy, and that’s the point. The book is grounded, clear, and uncompromising in its message: performance improves when people think for themselves. If you’re serious about helping others grow whether you're a manager, coach, or leader this is essential reading.

How it’s helped my clients
I’ve used GROW in hundreds of sessions, from informal check ins to structured coaching programmes. What’s striking is how quickly it helps people organise their thoughts and move from vague feelings to concrete action. For newer managers, it takes the pressure off having all the answers. For more experienced leaders, it becomes a tool for deeper listening. I’ve seen clients use just one good GROW conversation to tackle long standing issues not because it gave them a solution, but because it gave them space to find one themselves.

How it’s helped me
Whitmore’s writing shaped how I think about leadership. Early in my career, I thought leading meant directing. This book taught me that performance isn’t about control it’s about clarity and trust. I still come back to it when I’m overcomplicating things or slipping into old habits. It reminds me that the role of a coach (and a leader) is often to get out of the way, ask better questions, and let people step into their own solutions. It’s a humbling and energising read.

The Coaching Habit | Michael Bungay Stanier

Why it’s worth reading
Short, sharp, and genuinely useful The Coaching Habit strips coaching back to its essentials. Bungay Stanier doesn’t ask you to become a certified coach or book a two day retreat. He simply wants you to ask better questions in everyday moments. The book centres on seven deceptively simple questions, like “What’s the real challenge here for you?” or “And what else?” It’s fun to read full of humour, real life examples, and zero fluff. If you’re time poor but want to lead in a more curious, empowering way, this is your book.

How it’s helped my clients
This is the one I recommend most often to managers who feel stuck in fix it mode. Clients are often surprised at how asking one powerful question and resisting the urge to give advice can change the dynamic in a conversation. One client told me it helped them “shut up helpfully” for the first time in their career. It’s also become a go to tool in group coaching and leadership programmes, where we practise using the questions in real scenarios. The simplicity makes it stick.

How it’s helped me
Reading this book made me realise how much I used to talk and how little I really listened. It challenged a belief I didn’t know I held: that my value came from offering answers. Bungay Stanier flipped that script. Now, when I coach or mentor, I use his questions almost instinctively. They’ve made my conversations leaner, more focused, and more respectful of the other person’s agency. I also return to the idea that “coaching is a daily, informal act” not a job title. That mindset shift changed how I lead, and how I live.